sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Randomize
