I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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