I am in a vortex of obligation.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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