is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I want her autograph on my taint
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
