drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
