i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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