either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
