they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
