So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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