I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
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