Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
