I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
