38 yer olds are good kisserssss
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
When did angry sex become our thing?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
