the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
