So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
