If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
