Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
