Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
