How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
