I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
