It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
