I love black thongs
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
