I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
