Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
How does it feel to date your dad?
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
