I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
