i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
