She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
