I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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