This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
