So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
and you fell through a lawn chair
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