I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
