that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
We have started to decorate penises.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
