You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
