Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
