the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
