If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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