I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
