Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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