is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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