Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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