the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
