either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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