Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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