it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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