he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
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