you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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