is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
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