I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
