it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
