You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
