you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Randomize
