everyone is single if you try hard enough
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
