instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
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