Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
