I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
