If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
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