it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
