I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
